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For months after I read The Road by Cormac McCarthy (for those of you who missed it, it’s a book about a post-apocolyptic wasteland where nothing grows and all the animals are dead and humans are left to a) wander in search of canned food lingering in overlooked bombshelters or b) eat each other) every time I saw a fruit tree I flipped out. Apples?? They just grow on trees? Are you kidding me? Look at that tree! Covered in food! It just seemed so…improbable.

I’ve calmed down about apples since then, but I still feel, and have always felt, more or less that way about citrus trees. I grew up in a cold climate. We didn’t have citrus trees. And because of that, whenever I see oranges or lemons growing on a tree, I always feel like I’m in Willy Wonka’s garden. Like next row over there are going to be gummi bears sprouting from a bush.

But lemon trees are real!  And better yet, you can grow them in your apartment. They do just fine indoors in the winter, and then, come spring, you can move them outdoors onto your balcony or fire escape. I have a lemon tree sitting next to my printer in my office at this very moment. He doesn’t have any lemons yet, but I’m hoping he flowers soon.

I can hear you protesting through my computer: that’s a twig, not a tree! Yes, yes, I agree. But that’s one of the crazy, Willy Wonka things about lemon trees — very small twigs can pump out very luscious lemons. It seems to defy physics, but it happens.

So let’s get to it. How do you grow a lemon tree at home?

1. You need a tree. In an experimental stage during high school, my brother grew a lemon tree from a seed harvested from a grocery store lemon. It took forever, and it never bore any fruit. So go ahead and splurge on a mail order tree. Lots of online nurseries sell them. Four Wind Growers has a particularly great selection of dwarf citrus trees, which is what you want for indoors. I got cheap and went for a 1-year-old tree. I think you’ll find much greater satisfaction in a 2-year-old.
2. You need a pot.  Pick something pretty, since it’s going to be indoors at least part of the year, and make sure it has holes in the bottom for drainage. Size-wise, you might think, “I know! I’ll get a giant pot, and that way I’ll never have to repot it!” Nice thinking, but sadly, also a way to give your little lemon tree root rot. Pick a pot not much larger than the roots, that way the roots will be able to fill it and suck up water quickly. No stewing in wet soil for your tree. Which brings us to…
3. Plant it in good soil and water it regularly. Regular potting soil will do, or you can go for specially mixed citrus soil. As for watering, mine likes to be watered about twice a week. Don’t overdo it. Citrus trees really don’t like standing water. If you want to baby your tree, you can mist the leaves with a spray bottle or plug in a humidifier nearby.
4. Fertilize it. A dose of tomato fertilizer ever six weeks will do in the winter. In the summer, you can bump it up to every three to four weeks.
5. Moderate its temperature. This is why you usually only see lemon trees in Italy or California. They like moderate temperatures — somewhere between 55 and 85. So keep yours indoors away from spewing radiators and chilly drafts until spring temperatures are in the 50s and there’s no more chance of frost. Then, out it goes. But there’s a catch — you can’t just plunk it outside one day. That’ll cause lemon tree trauma. You have to sort of sneak it out bit by bit. A few hours in the shade one day. A few more the next. Ease it into the sun the next day, and within a week or so it won’t freak out about being in the great outdoors full-time.
6. Harvest your lemons! Lemons take a looooong time to ripen. You can be looking at them on your little tree for months before they’re actually good to eat. Color is the first indicator that they’re ripe, but a slight give to the rind is the next test. If you apply a bit of pressure and the rind feels a touch soft, they’re ready.

Tags: citrus, lemons